So it is just finally settling in with me that I am carrying a baby. My mind is still stuck in "infertile" times. I am not sure if I will ever recover from the heartache of being unable to conceive for what felt like an eternity. We were not "trying" to have a baby for more than 7 or so months before it worked, but I was mentally preparing myself for motherhood from the time we got engaged in May 2007. I so ridicuously starting buying baby stuff and reading/buying baby books just after we got engaged.
Even when I see the pictures of my unborn baby it still fails to register that, that little beauty is inside my body.
I don't think Mark has felt connected to my pregnancy and at times has been very non-understanding of what is taking place in my body. I tried getting him to read the daddy chapters of my books but he always found something stupid in them, and subsequently though the books, my bibles were stupid! I've put his hands on my tummy...but he doesn't feel anything so he removes his hands. At times he still tries to rough house; pokes the baby with his fingers, or fake punches it, or pushes too hard on my tummy. His mom just about killed him when he jumped on my back for a piggy back ride a while back, which I unwisely gave him...unfortunately that night I started bleeding (fortunately, baby has a sense of humor and is still kicking). Well anyways...over the past few weeks I have seen a gradual change in him. I can convince him to kiss my belly on occasion, but he still won't talk to the belly. He has walked up to me and touched my belly, he has marked on his calendar what the baby is up to each week.
*Library books- I feel sorry for any other expecting parents in the Sacramento region. I have pretty much cleaned house on baby books from the public library. I went through the library system and requested about 30 books, that have been trickling in from other branches over the past few weeks.
*Prenatals- I have been a really bad mom for a while. I eat fruits, vege's and ingest meals/snacks every two hours like clock work but no matter what I have been unable to force myself to take prenatals. I will lay them out and stare at them time and time again but not take them. This poor behaivor of mine has gone on for atleast the last month. And for so long I was afraid it would cause nausea, because they did for a while, but I am proud to say that I have suceeded in taking my fancy-schmancy, expensive prenatals the last three mornings in a row.
So just when I think I have got my pregnant body figured out...it throws me a curve ball. Co-workers constantly ask me if my morning sickness is over, I don't think it is though, but I am just better able to manage/control it. I eventually learned to eat if my body says it is hungry, because if I do not eat the hunger turns to nausea, and if I do not act quick I get sick! So I learned to eat as soon as the hunger came, even if food is un-appetizing, eat something, anything, force it down etc. For awhile the eating every two hours worked wonderfully while at home or work (I take massive amounts of food to work) But I have found that if I am away from home or work, like out shopping, the in-laws, church, errands etc. thinks can get ugly quick. So now I go out on quick errand runs or I pack an ice chest when going out for more than two hours. Work has been really great about my constant breaks! I eat every two hours, I keep a huge juggish thing of ice water in the break room which I sip from every time I am in there. And because I am eating and drinking so much, I use the bathroom A LOT! I tip toe away from my desk to potty atleast every hour and while I am in the breakroom I often end up munching too.
Eating is exhausting- lately I have been getting short of breath while eating. i'll take a few bites, chew it up and then breathe for a minute and then eat a little more. I don't know if it is the positioning of the baby or my fat status, but eating takes so much out of me!
The never ending hiccups- they are like nothing I have ever experienced. I don't stop hiccuping most the time and they are obnoxious suckers. Sometimes so much so that I squeal, to my husband and co-workers entertainment.
Food pattern frustrations- I eat a lot of the same foods for a while, tire of them and then switch out the foods I eat. Right now I eat yogurt and granola for breakfast, apples and strawberries, sometimes yogurt for snack, Kettle corn, chips, animal crackers for other snacks, milk and water for hydration, sandwiches for lunch and dinner varies. But I am so sick of eating these foods over and over. Problem being nothing else sounds good to me, so I am stuck with these foods until I find another craving.
Dreams-sometimes I dream a lot, sometimes good thoughts, sometimes bad and scary. But the other morning I woke up from a dream in which I had just given birth to a 8lb 15 oz baby girl!
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