Sunday, June 28, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Clarification
I know all I do on this blog is whine about pregnancy, but the negative seems to be what surrounds me currently. As soon as the baby starts to move, and especially after he/she is born I expect this blog to take on a different sound and mood. I foresee myself, yes, being tired but utterly so in love with my child and mystified at all the wonderful, miraculous, amazing things he/she does.
I will be able to look back at my old, depressing blogs as a reminder of how pregnancy is no walk in the park, and hopefully in doing so will wait a bit before trying for baby number two.
I will be able to look back at my old, depressing blogs as a reminder of how pregnancy is no walk in the park, and hopefully in doing so will wait a bit before trying for baby number two.
Pregnancy
So the second trimester is well upon me, and I much prefer this second one to the first. But still there are definitely some not fun things about pregnancy. I wouldn't trade my pregnant situation for the world, but "gee golly mister":
*My feet are hidious! It seems like ever since I became pregnant the skin on the outsides of my feet continues to scab and peel off for no good reason. I am totally embarassed by them!
*I'm pregnant aren't I supposed to LOVE food? I have this forceful feeling that I need to eat, but food just does not taste like it used to. Years ago as a teen that watched her weight, I always told myself that when I got pregnant someday I would go down the cookie aisle at Bel Air and load up! Weight would not be an issue, and if I loved cookies then, then I must love cookies now as a prego chick? WRONG. My taste buds and sweet teeth are M.I.A.
*belly button-I totally took my belly button for granted because word on the streets is, that belly buttons change during pregnancy, and don't ever return to the same shape, appearance etc. Though my belly button has not popped yet, it sure looks pretty sad! It now makes a frowny face!
*I have been practicing labor contractions the last two evenings as I think I may be constipated, and goodness gracious I feel like I have a kidney stone or I am in labor.
*Despite having just ate I had the strongest urge to vomit today just following lunch. I became enraged at the food that was climbing my esophagus in an attempt to be regurgitated, and for the first time in my life, I spoke to my food. I feel I made it very clear that I refused to vomit and it better make its way back to my stomach, because up was not an option. Fortunately it worked and I did not "spew" today!
*My feet are hidious! It seems like ever since I became pregnant the skin on the outsides of my feet continues to scab and peel off for no good reason. I am totally embarassed by them!
*I'm pregnant aren't I supposed to LOVE food? I have this forceful feeling that I need to eat, but food just does not taste like it used to. Years ago as a teen that watched her weight, I always told myself that when I got pregnant someday I would go down the cookie aisle at Bel Air and load up! Weight would not be an issue, and if I loved cookies then, then I must love cookies now as a prego chick? WRONG. My taste buds and sweet teeth are M.I.A.
*belly button-I totally took my belly button for granted because word on the streets is, that belly buttons change during pregnancy, and don't ever return to the same shape, appearance etc. Though my belly button has not popped yet, it sure looks pretty sad! It now makes a frowny face!
*I have been practicing labor contractions the last two evenings as I think I may be constipated, and goodness gracious I feel like I have a kidney stone or I am in labor.
*Despite having just ate I had the strongest urge to vomit today just following lunch. I became enraged at the food that was climbing my esophagus in an attempt to be regurgitated, and for the first time in my life, I spoke to my food. I feel I made it very clear that I refused to vomit and it better make its way back to my stomach, because up was not an option. Fortunately it worked and I did not "spew" today!
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Bathroom Break
So I published my last post and ran to the bathroom (I had put it off for far too long). NEways after I was ready to leave the bathroom I couldn't. I managed to lock myself in the bathroom at 2am! I did not understand it, the door was un-locked but when I turned the knob the metal piece that keeps the door closed would not move so I could open the door. I knocked on the door but I wasn't sure Mark heard when in his sleep. But I guess I made enough of a ruckess that he woke up and came to my rescue. Somehow he was able to open it from the outside.
I taped the defective metal piece so I could not get trapped again and will call maintenance...eventually.
The whole experience was oddly funny, I couldn't help but think what if it had happened later today when Mark is at work. I would trapped in the bathroom all day without food, and a phone, reading material etc. What a day that would be!
I taped the defective metal piece so I could not get trapped again and will call maintenance...eventually.
The whole experience was oddly funny, I couldn't help but think what if it had happened later today when Mark is at work. I would trapped in the bathroom all day without food, and a phone, reading material etc. What a day that would be!
Second Trimester
So it is just finally settling in with me that I am carrying a baby. My mind is still stuck in "infertile" times. I am not sure if I will ever recover from the heartache of being unable to conceive for what felt like an eternity. We were not "trying" to have a baby for more than 7 or so months before it worked, but I was mentally preparing myself for motherhood from the time we got engaged in May 2007. I so ridicuously starting buying baby stuff and reading/buying baby books just after we got engaged.
Even when I see the pictures of my unborn baby it still fails to register that, that little beauty is inside my body.
I don't think Mark has felt connected to my pregnancy and at times has been very non-understanding of what is taking place in my body. I tried getting him to read the daddy chapters of my books but he always found something stupid in them, and subsequently though the books, my bibles were stupid! I've put his hands on my tummy...but he doesn't feel anything so he removes his hands. At times he still tries to rough house; pokes the baby with his fingers, or fake punches it, or pushes too hard on my tummy. His mom just about killed him when he jumped on my back for a piggy back ride a while back, which I unwisely gave him...unfortunately that night I started bleeding (fortunately, baby has a sense of humor and is still kicking). Well anyways...over the past few weeks I have seen a gradual change in him. I can convince him to kiss my belly on occasion, but he still won't talk to the belly. He has walked up to me and touched my belly, he has marked on his calendar what the baby is up to each week.
*Library books- I feel sorry for any other expecting parents in the Sacramento region. I have pretty much cleaned house on baby books from the public library. I went through the library system and requested about 30 books, that have been trickling in from other branches over the past few weeks.
*Prenatals- I have been a really bad mom for a while. I eat fruits, vege's and ingest meals/snacks every two hours like clock work but no matter what I have been unable to force myself to take prenatals. I will lay them out and stare at them time and time again but not take them. This poor behaivor of mine has gone on for atleast the last month. And for so long I was afraid it would cause nausea, because they did for a while, but I am proud to say that I have suceeded in taking my fancy-schmancy, expensive prenatals the last three mornings in a row.
So just when I think I have got my pregnant body figured out...it throws me a curve ball. Co-workers constantly ask me if my morning sickness is over, I don't think it is though, but I am just better able to manage/control it. I eventually learned to eat if my body says it is hungry, because if I do not eat the hunger turns to nausea, and if I do not act quick I get sick! So I learned to eat as soon as the hunger came, even if food is un-appetizing, eat something, anything, force it down etc. For awhile the eating every two hours worked wonderfully while at home or work (I take massive amounts of food to work) But I have found that if I am away from home or work, like out shopping, the in-laws, church, errands etc. thinks can get ugly quick. So now I go out on quick errand runs or I pack an ice chest when going out for more than two hours. Work has been really great about my constant breaks! I eat every two hours, I keep a huge juggish thing of ice water in the break room which I sip from every time I am in there. And because I am eating and drinking so much, I use the bathroom A LOT! I tip toe away from my desk to potty atleast every hour and while I am in the breakroom I often end up munching too.
Eating is exhausting- lately I have been getting short of breath while eating. i'll take a few bites, chew it up and then breathe for a minute and then eat a little more. I don't know if it is the positioning of the baby or my fat status, but eating takes so much out of me!
The never ending hiccups- they are like nothing I have ever experienced. I don't stop hiccuping most the time and they are obnoxious suckers. Sometimes so much so that I squeal, to my husband and co-workers entertainment.
Food pattern frustrations- I eat a lot of the same foods for a while, tire of them and then switch out the foods I eat. Right now I eat yogurt and granola for breakfast, apples and strawberries, sometimes yogurt for snack, Kettle corn, chips, animal crackers for other snacks, milk and water for hydration, sandwiches for lunch and dinner varies. But I am so sick of eating these foods over and over. Problem being nothing else sounds good to me, so I am stuck with these foods until I find another craving.
Dreams-sometimes I dream a lot, sometimes good thoughts, sometimes bad and scary. But the other morning I woke up from a dream in which I had just given birth to a 8lb 15 oz baby girl!
Even when I see the pictures of my unborn baby it still fails to register that, that little beauty is inside my body.
I don't think Mark has felt connected to my pregnancy and at times has been very non-understanding of what is taking place in my body. I tried getting him to read the daddy chapters of my books but he always found something stupid in them, and subsequently though the books, my bibles were stupid! I've put his hands on my tummy...but he doesn't feel anything so he removes his hands. At times he still tries to rough house; pokes the baby with his fingers, or fake punches it, or pushes too hard on my tummy. His mom just about killed him when he jumped on my back for a piggy back ride a while back, which I unwisely gave him...unfortunately that night I started bleeding (fortunately, baby has a sense of humor and is still kicking). Well anyways...over the past few weeks I have seen a gradual change in him. I can convince him to kiss my belly on occasion, but he still won't talk to the belly. He has walked up to me and touched my belly, he has marked on his calendar what the baby is up to each week.
*Library books- I feel sorry for any other expecting parents in the Sacramento region. I have pretty much cleaned house on baby books from the public library. I went through the library system and requested about 30 books, that have been trickling in from other branches over the past few weeks.
*Prenatals- I have been a really bad mom for a while. I eat fruits, vege's and ingest meals/snacks every two hours like clock work but no matter what I have been unable to force myself to take prenatals. I will lay them out and stare at them time and time again but not take them. This poor behaivor of mine has gone on for atleast the last month. And for so long I was afraid it would cause nausea, because they did for a while, but I am proud to say that I have suceeded in taking my fancy-schmancy, expensive prenatals the last three mornings in a row.
So just when I think I have got my pregnant body figured out...it throws me a curve ball. Co-workers constantly ask me if my morning sickness is over, I don't think it is though, but I am just better able to manage/control it. I eventually learned to eat if my body says it is hungry, because if I do not eat the hunger turns to nausea, and if I do not act quick I get sick! So I learned to eat as soon as the hunger came, even if food is un-appetizing, eat something, anything, force it down etc. For awhile the eating every two hours worked wonderfully while at home or work (I take massive amounts of food to work) But I have found that if I am away from home or work, like out shopping, the in-laws, church, errands etc. thinks can get ugly quick. So now I go out on quick errand runs or I pack an ice chest when going out for more than two hours. Work has been really great about my constant breaks! I eat every two hours, I keep a huge juggish thing of ice water in the break room which I sip from every time I am in there. And because I am eating and drinking so much, I use the bathroom A LOT! I tip toe away from my desk to potty atleast every hour and while I am in the breakroom I often end up munching too.
Eating is exhausting- lately I have been getting short of breath while eating. i'll take a few bites, chew it up and then breathe for a minute and then eat a little more. I don't know if it is the positioning of the baby or my fat status, but eating takes so much out of me!
The never ending hiccups- they are like nothing I have ever experienced. I don't stop hiccuping most the time and they are obnoxious suckers. Sometimes so much so that I squeal, to my husband and co-workers entertainment.
Food pattern frustrations- I eat a lot of the same foods for a while, tire of them and then switch out the foods I eat. Right now I eat yogurt and granola for breakfast, apples and strawberries, sometimes yogurt for snack, Kettle corn, chips, animal crackers for other snacks, milk and water for hydration, sandwiches for lunch and dinner varies. But I am so sick of eating these foods over and over. Problem being nothing else sounds good to me, so I am stuck with these foods until I find another craving.
Dreams-sometimes I dream a lot, sometimes good thoughts, sometimes bad and scary. But the other morning I woke up from a dream in which I had just given birth to a 8lb 15 oz baby girl!
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