Miss Pearl won't smile for me. She loves when her sister comes around and will smile at the presense of Afton. She is with me day and night but as soon as daddy comes home from school he gets a smile.
This mommy needs to feel appreciated! I need a small token of your appreciation that says mom I get that your life revolves around me and I like you enough to smile.
Gotta say you're making it hard for me to bond with you. I know you'll be smiling up a storm soon, but just one for now...please?
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Week 6
Well I think we are making progress. I no longer dislike my two year old (phew). I was really feeling like an awful person for being so disconnected and angry with my Afton. She has been super obsessed with her daddy, which is great. But mommy has not been giving or receiving the love of late.
Fortunately I think/hope those days are behind us. Afton is amazing me again and my heart is all swoony at the hilarious things MY kid says. Like..."so guys, what's up?" "hippopatom" "Deli-shush"
Miss Pearl is six weeks old today and of late has been sleeping 4-6 hours at a time at night, which is pretty swell.
I think we're about to start smiling, I feel we're close. Sometimes when you look in her eyes I swear she is smiling, but the mouth does not join in.
She has pretty good control of her neck, which mommy is enjoying and she is starting to grab things.
Fortunately I think/hope those days are behind us. Afton is amazing me again and my heart is all swoony at the hilarious things MY kid says. Like..."so guys, what's up?" "hippopatom" "Deli-shush"
Miss Pearl is six weeks old today and of late has been sleeping 4-6 hours at a time at night, which is pretty swell.
I think we're about to start smiling, I feel we're close. Sometimes when you look in her eyes I swear she is smiling, but the mouth does not join in.
She has pretty good control of her neck, which mommy is enjoying and she is starting to grab things.
Monday, March 5, 2012
The Terrible Age of 2
I used to think I had the coolest kid around. When I got pregnant I knew there would be some adjustments but I thought Afton would be pretty cool with everything. I really used to enjoy going places with her, she was my side kick but ever since early January (after she turned two) she has been a nightmare that is getting worse, not better. I thought this would be a short lived phase or we just needed a behavior adjustment but this is turning out to be a lot more. The terrible twos are exactly what everyone says they are-TERRIBLE.
Another mom with a son five days older than Afton posted on Facebook last week that she jokingly wanted to give away her son. I sent the following message to her...
"I can totally relate to your posting about wanting to sell/give away Cohen. Afton since January has been getting worse and worse. Everytime we go somewhere (even with warnings and timers) she has huge meltdowns when it is time to go. I end up carrying her kicking and screaming out of EVERY store, library, museum etc that we go to. She does the same thing with just my husband or with both of us together.I know I love her, but I really do not enjoy spending time with her right now. I feel like I am ALWAYS mad at her. If she were a boyfriend I think I'd dump her. She spends a lot of her day in her room on timeout as she ignores me everytime I tell her to stop doing something. This is just such a miserable time!!! I am mourning the loss of control!!! Just before Pearl was born she ran away from me at Target...twice. The first time we were in one department and she took off squealing in delight. I was so slow and no amount of threats, yelling etc would stop her. Fortunately I found her but I was so stressed! Then a few days later also at Target she ran away from me again and literally ran out of Target and into the parking lot. Fortunately no cars were coming but I don't think I will ever recover from that level of fear!!!So in closing...you are not alone in your misery. And if you dislike his behavior all the more after the baby comes, also not alone. I think the sleep deprivation just intensifies everything. I'm grouchy, she's misbehaving and everything is changing. I think the thing that bothers me the most is that we used to have such a tight, buddy buddy bond and now I find myself barking at her and sending her to her room ALL THE TIME. I know I have to keep up the discipline for consistency but I don't like being the bad guy!!!"
When does it end? Does this last the whole year? I cannot tell you how guilty I feel for disliking my child so much! I truly do not want to spend time with her, and sometimes it's better for her that I am not around (i.e. lock her in her room because mommy needs to cool off so I don't hurt her)!
Another mom with a son five days older than Afton posted on Facebook last week that she jokingly wanted to give away her son. I sent the following message to her...
"I can totally relate to your posting about wanting to sell/give away Cohen. Afton since January has been getting worse and worse. Everytime we go somewhere (even with warnings and timers) she has huge meltdowns when it is time to go. I end up carrying her kicking and screaming out of EVERY store, library, museum etc that we go to. She does the same thing with just my husband or with both of us together.I know I love her, but I really do not enjoy spending time with her right now. I feel like I am ALWAYS mad at her. If she were a boyfriend I think I'd dump her. She spends a lot of her day in her room on timeout as she ignores me everytime I tell her to stop doing something. This is just such a miserable time!!! I am mourning the loss of control!!! Just before Pearl was born she ran away from me at Target...twice. The first time we were in one department and she took off squealing in delight. I was so slow and no amount of threats, yelling etc would stop her. Fortunately I found her but I was so stressed! Then a few days later also at Target she ran away from me again and literally ran out of Target and into the parking lot. Fortunately no cars were coming but I don't think I will ever recover from that level of fear!!!So in closing...you are not alone in your misery. And if you dislike his behavior all the more after the baby comes, also not alone. I think the sleep deprivation just intensifies everything. I'm grouchy, she's misbehaving and everything is changing. I think the thing that bothers me the most is that we used to have such a tight, buddy buddy bond and now I find myself barking at her and sending her to her room ALL THE TIME. I know I have to keep up the discipline for consistency but I don't like being the bad guy!!!"
When does it end? Does this last the whole year? I cannot tell you how guilty I feel for disliking my child so much! I truly do not want to spend time with her, and sometimes it's better for her that I am not around (i.e. lock her in her room because mommy needs to cool off so I don't hurt her)!
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Pearl at 4 weeks
Pearl is...
*Rolling over? Mark put her down a few nights ago and when I went in later her face was against her bumper. I asked Mark about it and he claimed to have put her on her back. The next night I know I put her on her back but when I went in later she was on her belly!!!
*Bigger than Afton at this age- She is already moving out of 0-3 month clothing, and thus out of size one diapers too. I can't believe how fast she is changing! She looks so much bigger in her car seat, in the clothes she used to appear to swim in, etc. At two weeks she was 9lbs 7 oz. I could only imagine her being 11+ now. When she is without clothing her abdomen is ginormous and her arms and legs now have dimples/rolls of fat!
*Acne ridden-not going to lie I am embarassed to take her picture right now. On the sides of her head the acne is in colonies, and some of the acne has grown one on top of the others. In addition to her face it is on her neck, back, chest etc.
*She has the ability to projectile vomit/spit up. Yesterday when I got out of the shower there was a puddle of spit up on the floor but Pearl and her clothing were dry. But today I witnessed her in action. Poor Afton had just entered the bathroom where Pearl was to say good morning when Pearl erupted all over Afton's feet, once again Pearl's clothes remained dry...she can seriously
shoot it a good 18 inches.
*She is developing more and more neck and hand control each day, but she doesn't have nearly the strength that Afton had at birth(not a bad thing, just an observation).
*She smiles loads everytime she is dozing off to sleep and while sleeping chuckles quite a bit.
*Her digestive system seems to be a bit immature or something. She spits up A LOT and struggles to have bowel movements. Sometimes she cries and fusses until she is able to poop, poor kid!
*I have started cloth diapering her, and thus far I am more impressed with how much more the cloth can hold versus the disposables (way less blowouts in the cloth).
*Afton is still overjoyed to see Pearl each morning. Afton still has not maliciously attempted to harm her sister as I had feared in pregnancy. Afton still loves to read to her daily and talks baby talk to her. It's really quite fun to hear Afton mimic what I say to Pearl..."It's okay baby" "Hi pretty girl" etc.
*Pearl still has the unexpected black hair from birth and we've determined that she has Mark's toes.
*Unlike Afton she will sleep on her back!!! But she won't keep her covers on.
*Rolling over? Mark put her down a few nights ago and when I went in later her face was against her bumper. I asked Mark about it and he claimed to have put her on her back. The next night I know I put her on her back but when I went in later she was on her belly!!!
*Bigger than Afton at this age- She is already moving out of 0-3 month clothing, and thus out of size one diapers too. I can't believe how fast she is changing! She looks so much bigger in her car seat, in the clothes she used to appear to swim in, etc. At two weeks she was 9lbs 7 oz. I could only imagine her being 11+ now. When she is without clothing her abdomen is ginormous and her arms and legs now have dimples/rolls of fat!
*Acne ridden-not going to lie I am embarassed to take her picture right now. On the sides of her head the acne is in colonies, and some of the acne has grown one on top of the others. In addition to her face it is on her neck, back, chest etc.
*She has the ability to projectile vomit/spit up. Yesterday when I got out of the shower there was a puddle of spit up on the floor but Pearl and her clothing were dry. But today I witnessed her in action. Poor Afton had just entered the bathroom where Pearl was to say good morning when Pearl erupted all over Afton's feet, once again Pearl's clothes remained dry...she can seriously
shoot it a good 18 inches.
*She is developing more and more neck and hand control each day, but she doesn't have nearly the strength that Afton had at birth(not a bad thing, just an observation).
*She smiles loads everytime she is dozing off to sleep and while sleeping chuckles quite a bit.
*Her digestive system seems to be a bit immature or something. She spits up A LOT and struggles to have bowel movements. Sometimes she cries and fusses until she is able to poop, poor kid!
*I have started cloth diapering her, and thus far I am more impressed with how much more the cloth can hold versus the disposables (way less blowouts in the cloth).
*Afton is still overjoyed to see Pearl each morning. Afton still has not maliciously attempted to harm her sister as I had feared in pregnancy. Afton still loves to read to her daily and talks baby talk to her. It's really quite fun to hear Afton mimic what I say to Pearl..."It's okay baby" "Hi pretty girl" etc.
*Pearl still has the unexpected black hair from birth and we've determined that she has Mark's toes.
*Unlike Afton she will sleep on her back!!! But she won't keep her covers on.
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